Showing posts with label writing career. Show all posts

I admit it, I lost my focus. You could probably tell because blog updates have been few and far between the last couple of months. Sure the holidays had to have a lot to do with it, and personal relationship problems had a lot to do with it, but the other business i'm trying to run has a huge part of it too.

As the saying goes, you cannot serve two masters. And Lord, if that ain't the truth! ,I'm sitting here 5:40 in the morning, reassessing my goals and trying to get back on track.

The good news is, I finally got myself a domain name and a web hosting package. My site is there, but since my laptop isn't working right now, i haven't been able to design the site yet. Should be up and running soon though, income taxes are on the way and I'm planning on buying myself a nice desktop computer, with plenty of space for all my web-design/writing programs.
I'm also getting a nice new desk where I can keep all my stuff organized, maybe a new all-in-one printer, since the one I'm using now is acting funny.


Inclosing, I'm just glad a i caught myself worrying about my other business too much. I was about to drop another $100 to buy domain names for it, and I still might, but I have to remember, the writing comes first. The writing is what I've been dedicating most of my life too. The writing is where my focus needs to be. Even though the other job offers quick, easy money, and lord knows writing full novels (which is what I'm presently doing, haven't gotten into writing novellas yet) is anything but easy. But as morbid as it sounds, when I'm dead, i'd rather be known as a great writter then a great internet marketing person. Sooo this is me, getting back on the ball. Very happy I caught myself before I fell off completely. :)

Okay,so I've been gone for over a month! Sorry, I don't plan my vacations so i can't alert people when i decide to take one.  I knew the holidays were going to make me too frazzled to concentrate on my writing, so I decided to take that month off that Steven King suggested in his book "On Writing".  Now when I do the final edit I can decide if the story is going the way I wanted it to, and edit it with new eyes. I also got a job blogging for someone else so that takes up a lot of time as well. Still, the ball is rolling and i'm ready to get this book out there!

Plus, I got someone to draw a pic of one of my characters, VEGAS! LOL! I think it's cute, not exactly how i pictured him, but I love other peoples interpretations of my characters. Just the kind of boost I needed to get me motivated and get my story out there.

 What sweet early Christmas gift for me! Ohh, and sample chapters of the book are coming soon!

Okay, the truth is there's a little secret about my work that i've been keeping. I was going to explain myself eventually...after I felt like I was really a success at this self publishing thing.

The secret is that I actually did have an agent that was interested in this work. A very big agent (in the YA  fantasy world anyway). Now, he asked for a copy of my manuscript, but I guess I didn't feel the work was ready to send it to him yet. Then by the time I felt it was ready, I had gotten all swept up into the idea of self publishing. Even though a lot of people were telling me I was crazy for it.

And I did feel crazy for doing this up until a few days ago. I mean, who the hell doesn't jump at the chance to work with an agent? Only a moron right?
Imagine if I fail at this self publishing thing. OMIGAWD! I gave up the chance to work with a real AGENT! What a failure!

Except, the more blogs I read, the more I talk to other authors in and out of the industry, the more unspectacular the whole traditionally publishing route sounds to me. And at this point no matter what happens, I know I wouldn't be happy publishing traditionally. Why? Because I know my personality and I am not the type who can tolerate suits telling me what "art" is. There are suits and there ate artist. Suits know marketing, they know distribution channels, they know other suits, but ART? No.

Now, I get it. To be a rich, super successful writer you need marketing, you need suits. So rather then deal with suits I've restructured my goals, career wise, a little. My dream is no longer to be a multi-millionaire. My dream is to be one of the best writers ever. Not "the best that I can be", the best writer, PERIOD.

A suit isn't going to help me accomplish that goal. A suit is going to kick my book into shape so that it sells lots and lots of copies. An editor? Yes, they definately help. An agent? Hmmmm.... Publisher? Not really.

I'm putting this out now rather then when I become a "successful indie writer", because a successful indie writer is someone who sells more then 100 copies of their book. Call me conceited, but I'm pretty sure I can sell more than 100 copies of my awesomeness :) . So, I'm going to say that I'm successful enough to be sure about the path I'm on.



Another thing about the agent that contacted me. He has an author in his stable ("stable" i don't know what else to call them)who is very successful. I see her books everywhere, that's why I got weak in the knees when this particular agent seemed intrested. I went to this authors website and a read an except of her book..hmmm what can i say. I was not impressed. A little chigrined may be better wording for it. But at the time it was cool to me. I mean if he liked her book he would certainly LOVE mine. Better chances for me right? And maybe that was true, maybe it wasn't. But now looking back on that, it just proves my point that suits know marketing. They don't know art. The fact is you can sell ANYTHING if you market it, just right.

So, knowing that fact. I thinks to myself "If a suit can pretend to know art, maybe a writer can pretend to know marketing". Marketing is an ART in a way, isn't it? Yes, there is an art to it. Red paint here, in this portrait, bring out this emotions, expresses this idea. A finely worded ad, placed here, will get me X amount sales. Check stats to see if my message is reaching the public. HAZAH! My bank account will show that my art is relevant! AHAHA!

Everyone always uses the music industry as an example so im going to do it to. Industry music today SUCKS. Everyone knows it. The stuff on the radio is crap and you have to be drugged up to stand to listen to it. That's probably why so many American teenagers are hocked up on anti depressants and ADHD drugs.

Just sayin'.

Industry music sucks butt. And why is that? Because suits don't know shit about art. They'd rather brainwash the public into buying nonsense because it's easier and less risky for them. You can't tell for sure how real art will catch people, because all emotions aren't the type that lead people to buy stuff. And the emotions that lead people to buy stuff are the only emotions suits care about.

The suits jobs just keeps getting easier, they don't have to put any work into an artist anymore. Computerized voices and the artist are already trained to follow orders by the time they reach that level.

Now I will admit, industry books aren't anywhere near as bad as industry music. There are some pretty good industry books out there. But the devil is in the process and how the authors get treated. The writer has already cleaned and polished the book by the time an agent reads it. The writer has done all the hard work, yet gets somewhere between 5-8% of the profits. Is that fair? Doesn't seem it to me. If it seems fair to you then by all means go for it.

But before I sign on with anyone, I want to see if maybe I might be as good at playing a suit as the suits are at playing artist. Gotta be brave, gotta be bold and sometimes do things that are a little crazy.

I've been spending a lot of time gearing up for the release of my e-book, but now I think I'm having a change of plans.



See, I have been totally jazzed about this becoming an Indie author thing. I'm getting swept up in the indie revolution, but really I have been stressing myself out to the point that this was becoming less fun and more of a drag. The biggest problem was my book just wouldn't be finished. Every time I think it's finished, it just didn't feel finished. There were some characters who I wanted to get into more, some scenes I wanted to add in and for some reason I couldn't wait for the second book to do it. It just didn't feel, RIGHT.

And believe me, I've been trying for a VERY long time to get this done. But recently I realized that there is just something about this story that cannot be contained in a standard 300+ page novel. It's not working, So, recently, I was on J.A. Konraths blog and someone dropped a post about creating a series of short 20,000 page (approximately) novels and placing them on Amazon.

At first I rejected that idea for this book because I've worked SOOOOO hard getting it to be a proper novel. It would have felt like all my hard work would be going down the drain if I changed the format now. Also, it's kind of scary because it's a new method of producing books online. Someone suggested the idea but I don't think anyone has actually done it before…or at least…they haven't done it and become commercially successful at it. So, even though I have found some wonderful Self-Publishing/ebook guru's like Zoe Winters, Deana Zhollis and J.A. Konrath, producing a series for release on the web is sort of new ground. Would fans really buy the books every week that they were released? How long would I be able to produce the books for one series before I move on to the next? A lot of questions and I'd have little guidance or a road map. I'd be learning through trial and error.

Another problem, releasing an e-book series on kindle would definitely make me a not-really-real writer according to the industry supporters. Self-publishing your own e-book makes you less than the industry writers, but self-publishing mini novelettes would be perceived as being even less then self-published authors who produce full length books. Why? I guess the further you drift away from the conventional rules of publishing the less of a "writer" you become. It would also probably kill my chances of ever being picked up by a big traditional publisher, but I have no interested in going with the big houses anymore. So I say: onward march! Part of the joy of going indy is I have room to experiment. I plan on turning the little novelettes into novels anyway, but I want to experiment with this new idea and see how it works. I own the rights to my story and characters so I can do whatever I want with them J 


 
I got a message from Deana recently. She tried to post something to my blog but it wouldn't go through. I just tried myself and yeah, something is wrong with the posting option. ARGH! I apologize to anyone who was trying to post a message but couldn't. I just moved this blog from wordpress and now I'm debating moving back. I found this great website written by a twelve year old and he gives some great tips for maximizing your blog for hits. I tried just one of his suggestions and yeah I've been getting a ton of hits to this blog lately. I can't implement some of his suggestions though because I think they are specifically for WP blogs. Now I'm trying to decide if I'm going to buy a domain name with WP or get my own hosting/website package.

Anyway, back to work. I'm redoing the first seven or so chapters of my book to make it a mini novel. Be back soon with more nerdy, writer goodness!

Yep, I've been feeling strangely weak lately, but I definitely have some exciting news. Advancing, advancing, advancing....that's the focus!

I also I have to update this blog more then once a week. I'll try to keep a schedule but who knows how that'll go. Anyway be back soon! Cheers to everyone.

I have been driving myself bat shit for two years trying to complete this book. I'm always at the point where I think it's done, but then when it's "done", I get this over whelming feeling that it isn't finished yet.

I have been so frustrated for such a long time with this. Finally, I decided to do an internet search to see if there was any advice for a writer who is in this kind if a slump and what they should do about it. I found this website that speaks about the "snowflake method" for designing a book. Now, first let me explain that I didn't have any kind of design or diagram or outline when I started this book. I had the ideas for a shit load of cool scenes in my head, comedy bits, dialogue and I just started typing. This has been an absolute failure of a writing method. Don't ever, ever, EVER DO THAT!! A total nightmare! Constantly writing and re-writing, trying to make this story make sense. Trying to make sure everything comes together seamlessly. Please, never do it that way! It will turn your hair grey! Yes, SERIOUSLY! I found grey hair!


The problem is though I TRIED to make an outline for this book but it never worked for some reason. I don't know why; It just didn't. I would sit there and write Chapter 1: such and such and such. Chapter 2: such and such and such. I would still write the book and feel like it wasn't complete and everything didn't match up. So I figured maybe the whole outline thing wasn't for me, even though I wrote two books in highschool using loose outlines that worked out fantastic.

Anyway, out of desperation I tried the snowflake method, cutting a lot of corners. I want my book out by December and his method of outlining a story would probably take at least a month. A month to outline a story is too much, especially since I have 300 pages already written. But I did the first two steps, writing the basic idea for the story, which was easy enough. Then writing detailed character outlines and writing the characters personal story.

As soon as I finished the character outlines for the story I started to feel better. Then hen I got to the character stories something amazing happened. I realized I could just link up each sentence of the characters story to a chapter/portion of my manuscript. For instance: "Character A wants to find the mystical key of light." (that's just an example, my story has no mystical key of light).All I had to do was take a pen or a pencil and draw an arrow to a little note that says "this is shown in chapter 3 when he's explains this to the hobgoblin king." Then, if there was a part of my character story that wasn't matching up to the manuscript, I would be able to see it clearly and change it.

After I did that I went back into my story and changed the titles. Rather than writing random titles for each chapter I wrote a very brief description for the major points in each chapter. I saved the descriptions, so that it created a big story/outline combining all the character stories. Now I had a real outline for my book and reading it over I could see what needed to be fixed, what didn't make sense, what could be cut, what could be saved and how to alter things so it blends together cohesively.


Whew! I know a lot of work but it's paying off. I can plan what's going to happen in each chapter and I have a clear definition of what these characters are all about and how to execute them. Now the funny thing is, if I had tried to make an outline from scratch before I started writing the book, it's wouldn't have been as dynamic and cool as the outline I've just made. The reason being that some things just don't make sense, but I force them to make sense in a way because I think it's a cool idea. Personally, I think it adds more drama and excitement to the story. It's like seeing a very serious room full stock brokers or something having a sort of "gathering of witches" for business types. Then an Italian guy with one of those curly mustaches, walks into the room and smacks one of them over the head with a giant halibut. Now, afterwards, I fully explain why the guy just got whooped with a dead fish, but stuff like that is a nice little wake up to anyone reading the story. That's the kind of thing that I might miss out on if I try being very organized and plotting my story out in the beginning. But I suppose this is why the creator of the snowflake theory makes the entire process last 1-2 months. You can't plot a whole story out in one night, it'll be lame. 

Anyway, this all just goes to show that not everything works for everybody, but if you try you will find something that WORKS. Some people do perfectly well with the "Chapter 1-Chapter 2-Chapter 3" kind of outline. Some people might benefit from the writing out the story and then plugging in how and where you're going to show this and this and that.

This is a long boring post that only writers care about. And maybe not so much even then. Hope I didn't put anyone to sleep but finally making an outline I could work with just felt good!

So, I was going to make a nice long post about getting distracted...but I haven't for a while because I figured "this writing in my blog thing is a distraction", so I've been delaying it and engaging in other distracting activities instead.

I learned something last night though, when I spent a few hours ours playing "City of Wonder" on facebook, feeling guilty the whole time because I should have been editing my book. There's a difference between "getting distracted" and needing a break. I felt great after I finished playing the game and was excited about getting back to work. Today, while I was at dialysis (I have severe kidney problems), I was watching a movie while adding some new parts to my book. It felt weird because that's the kind of writing I use to do when I was a teenager and in college. Serious writers do not sit in front of their television sets with their very serious novels trying to add in some extra chapters. I was totally distracted, but somehow, I produced some good writing. Yeah, come to think of it, my writing WAS a lot better back when I wasn't stressing over it.

I think maybe I've been --too--focused on this project. Being ambitious and going hard for your dreams is good, but there's some days when it seems every waking moment is focused on my story, and that's really too much.

I knew this starting your own business thing was going to be a journey with a lot of lessons learned. Glad this one was a nice, sweet, lesson that didn't cost me anything in my bottom line. It's alright to chill a little and have some fun. If nothing else, a relaxed mind makes my writing a better.

My hubby's asleep early so I'm going to go play with some more face book apps and then get back to work for a few hours :)

 
As expected, I can't decide on a pen name. I had a good one in mind but now I don't know if I like it anymore. Too androgynous maybe.


 
It's just like me to worry about silly little details like that. I think it's a Virgo thing. Some of us can be nit-picky and a perfectionist about certain things. It's taking me a while to learn things don't have to be perfect all the time, sometimes you just have to get it DONE. I'm trying to use that same logic when it comes to my book. If I waited till it was PERFECT it would never come out. I have to get it done.

 
I'm driving myself bat shit with all this editing. It's that perfectionist-ism (okay, I don't know the word for it) that is going to be the death of me and this project.

 
Alright, each chapter has to be relevant to the story. Each chapter has to be clear and add something to the bigger picture. Each chapter should be as short as possible. What's this characters motivation? What kind of emotional response will people have to this scene? Then I get side tracked by all the little details...change the story this way...change the story again to fit the other changes I made...then it's just me ripping my hair out in front of my laptop. I ain't got no more damn hair left.

 
I do have other books I'd like to write, plenty others. Today, I sat down and wrote the titles or general ideas of the books I'd like to write and launch after American Sorcery School. I had about 20 altogether, including a few series. I figure that's enough work for about 10 years, no? If I put out 2 books a year, which sounds like a comfortable pace, in 10 years my self pubbed books should have built me a pretty sturdy living.

 
In another 10 years I'll be 41. 20 books should be generating enough income for me to live off of and who knows what can happen in 10 years. Maybe I have a few really good years where I can manage more than 2 a year. Maybe one book or a series gets picked up for a movie or television show. You never know.
Either way, if I can keep a steady work pace, I should be able to say that I am making a living as a writer by the time I'm 41. If my books sell poorly, it would be because I'm not marketing myself properly and I would guess within ten years I would have gotten the jist of marketing. Either way it's going to be a wonderful feeling. Having a career that I fashioned and that I am totally in control of.

 
I never had "career plan" before that was so…so....simple? A career plan where I am actually as excited about the PROCESS and the WORK as I am excited about the MONEY and the TITLE. Honestly, I am more excited about the process and the work, because I know financially I am probably going to have it tough for the first few years while I build my career. I'm ready and I have my mind set and I'm going to give this all I've got.

 
There's a little more to the plan though, but I'm astounded by just how basic it is at the core. I mean if I had done this ten years ago…

 

 
If no one's noticed I put a new resources for writers page up.

 
http://allfiredup123.blogspot.com/p/places-to-list-your-blog.html


 
I'm still hard at work. Editing, editing, editing. GRRRRR!!! It's a labor of love. The day I have my book launched I'm going to have to run to the beauty salon and get a weave, or all the bald spots on my head plastered over or something…sigh…

 

Hey, I'm scouring the net to find some help for writers, especially when it comes to advertising our books. Whenever I come across some interesting info, links, ideas, I'll make a page about it and hang it up for all of us to share.

The first page is a list of places where you can post ads for free. Might want to take advantage of these things and see if it makes a difference when it comes to hits for your site!

http://allfiredup123.blogspot.com/p/resources-for-writers-list-of-free-ad.html

This has to be a quick one because I'm going nuts trying to get all this work done. My to-do list has the ability to regenerate itself; as soon as I cross one task off, two more task appear in it's place like a demonic alien hydra! eeeek!!! -_-;;.

Updates?--Okay, I figured out why it's so expensive to POD my book. My book was too long. I just butchered the thing in half o_O;; WTF?! That act nearly made me quit life. After all the blood, sweat and tears (okay, no actual blood... but definitely tears demmit) to get my story to work and get it where it made sense, I had to DELETE nearly half the book, which means I practically have to rework the entire thing over again. ARRRGGHH *smoke shoots out of ears*!!!

Also, typing my book up innocently in Microsoft word I had no idea that 360 in whatever setting I was using (the "I-think-I'm-a-real-writer-setting?") translated to 466 pages in the ready for print template. At about $0.015 a page, my book would have been waaaaay too expensive.

Kill your darlings, Kill your darlings. Isn't that what Stephen King was talking about in "On writing"?
Well, my darling is dead and hopefully it will be born again, better and stronger. Actually it is...once you hit the delete button on about 10 chapters and realize that there is still a good story there...a more focused one...Yeah, you really didn't need that 10 chapters anyway and it was just mindless--though entertaining--filler.

I got the Lightning Source Application. **EXCITING**

It's long. I'm about halfway done with it. I'm at the part where they are asking me for banking info and I figure now was the best time for me to go open that business checking account so I can use that.

I've been struggling for a while deciding whether or not to use a pen name and I finally decided to go with a pen name. Why not? Having a secret identity is sexy :)


So my small business account will be opened under my pen name (if I can.. well see)
What else? Editing insanity. Lightning Source. Pen Name. Business Account. Oh and I still have the husband/son/life/and work thing. YESH! Better to be busy then bored though and I'm definitely not bored.

Alright, enough out of me for now...I got work to do!

In my case, the caption should read "If father Christmas was an agent" because I haven't even got to the publishers yet. Yep, 3 more rejection letters. I know, I know, Everyone gets rejection letters you just have to keep with it. Yes, yes, I know. I still have two more agents out of my list that I haven't heard from yet. Amazingly, it's the two agents I wanted the most, including the one who had asked for sample chapters. So I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.

And I've already started looking into self publishing. Honestly, it seems like the thing to do now and it is kind of exciting. The only thing holding me back is A) I'm still editing my book B)I'm trying to decide if it's really worth it. C) I'm still querying agents while I study Self-publishing.

Now there's places like CreateSpace.com which is a great POD site that has a pretty good reputation and a message board where you can learn a lot about marketing and self publishing a book. The only problem I have with createspace is their Expanded Distribution Channel option...which doesn't make a lot of sense to me when I think about it.

There's three distribution options you can get with createspace. 1) Their regular plan (it's called something else but I can't think of it right now) which means they will sell your book only on THEIR stores. While I'm sure createspace gets a lot of traffic I don't think that's enough to make a living off of and I do plan on making a living as a writer.
Option 2) Is their Pro-Plan-- which means you'll be in their stores and amazon dot com. You make about 60% of your royalties, minus the fees for creating the book and all that. Not bad for a book priced at like 10.99, I would make 2-3 dollars royalty. Amazon is pretty big, so that's good. Still not sure if you'd be able to make a living off of that. You almost definitely wouldn't be able to make a living with just one book...but most writers who go through a traditional publisher aren't making a living off of one book either and they are almost definitely not getting 2-3 dollars per book in royalties.  So far the pro-plan is cool...but...

Option 3) Is the Expanded Distribution Channel, which create space claims will widen our books distribution network and even get our book into Barnes and Nobles and Borders book stores. That's cool, and it should definitely put more $$$ in pockets. Except first of all I'm hearing claims from people on the createspace message board that Borders and Barnes and Nobles do NOT carry self published books from createspace. I didn't know who to believe, so the other day I emailed Barnes and Nobles customer service to find out. I'm still waiting on a response, but I will keep you posted as soon as I have more info from them.

*Update: I got a response letter that said they will respond to me with a response letter in a few days. Whomp, whomp, whomp!

Another thing that I'm finding not cool about the EDC. Okay, they take 60% of your earnings right off the bat. That's fine. 40% is still a LOT better then the 8-5% I would probably get through a traditional publisher. But after they take out all these extra FEE'S, i swear you end up with like 2-3%. Depending on how many pages you have (and my book is book length, so we're talking royalties in the 2-3% percent range).

Lulu is another self publishing place but with them it's almost like the opposite. You can choose how much royalties you'll make but they'll price the books ridiculously high... A YA paperback for 17.99 is just ridiculous. My book is great but that is still way too expensive.

So even if I do self publish...and I'm getting swept up into the revolution...I'm still trying to find the best route in which to go about things (P.S. I know about Lightning Source, yes I want to use them TOO, but I like CS and LL's store fronts and communities).

Well, I was warned this phase was going to come. REJECTION. When I started sending out queries I started bracing myself and got myself ready for the almighty list of rejections to start piling up.

It's still a blow to the ego, no matter how much you set yourself up and know that it's gonna happen. But seriously, my book is like my baby, you work so hard on it to polish it and get it perfect, only for someone to glance at the query letter and dismiss it. Like *POOF*.

But you know what, fuck it. I know my work is good.  So I'll just keep pressing forward until I find an agent that believes in me as much as I believe in me. And if that doesn't work? I do have my plan B's and C's.

Omg! Look who's becoming miss organized? Don't let my Microsoft Excel agent/Query list fool you. I still have no idea what I'm doing. :)



Don't laugh at my whack excel skills, i'm still a beginner. Here is a list of all the agents I queried in 2009 and now in 2010. I know it isn't very much...about 15 in all (and one agent I queried twice, once last year and once this year). My responses so far are pretty good. I had one request for the full manuscript, one resquest for sample chapters, a lot of rejections and I'm still waiting on 3.

I kid you not when I tell you that I'm pretty unorganized, but I'm glad I sat down and did this. First of all, I realized that I hadn't heard from two agents I queried in 2009; that adds two more places I can query when I send out my next batch of query letters.

Also, I now can see where I've sent my letters so I don't requery the same agency...again! Yes, I accidently queried the same agency twice! I didn't even realize it until I created the excel chart and face palmed myself for sending two queries to two people at the same agency. Funny thing is though, one of the agents from this company is the same agent who requested some samples out of me. My ineptitude didn't get the door totally slammed in my face this time :)

(And I am not saying to do this, EVER, when you send out your query letters. This was a mistake and one that should have cost me a nice, blunt, rejection letter. )



Here is the list showing who gave me the boot, who gave me a hoot and who I'm still waiting for. I made the chart in bright pretty colors because if I don't, I may forget that I exist and start to fade away; like Marty Mcfly's parents in "Back to the future".

(Wow, I'm a dinosaur for remembering that...)

Also, a tip for those of you who haven't queried yet. I send my queries out in little batches. Maybe 6 or so at a time. This is something I do not regret. As I read more blogs and discover new information, I find things that make me want to change my query around. I read something on places like http://queryshark.blogspot.com that make me want to redo my query to make it better. This is great. Once a query is out there is no way you can take it back to make another first impression. But luckily, there are a lot of agents out there, and a lot of chances to make a good first impressions.

I know other writers who do the same thing and so far, they seem to pretty much agree with me. Sending 50 queries to 50 agents might seem like a good idea---but imagine getting 50 no's! It can and has happened to even FANTASTIC writers. Better to send out 6 or 15 or even 20 at a time. If you get 15 no's then you know it's time to go back to the drawing board and can do so knowing you still have a lot of agents left to query.

I haven't dropped a post in a while, so I figured I'd better leave one, even if it's really short.

I started sending out the queries last week. I haven't heard back from any of them yet. That's a good thing! The last time I sent out queries (about 6 or 7) the rejections came immediately. Some of them were the very next day, if i remember correctly. It was the positive feedback ones that took weeks to get. So when I check my mailbox and find it empty, there's a weird sense of relief there.

My son is in St.Martin with his grandmother for the entire week. Great opportunity to sweep over my work and tighten it up for when I get request for the full manuscript. I'm having a great time reading over my own story, so I have to take that as a positive. I mean, I've read my own book only about eighty-seven thousand times. The fact that I can do it one more time and enjoy it says a lot, I think.

Anyway, my sleep patterns haven't gotten any better. Got pretty much no sleep last night so I'm going to clean up and take another crack at it. Hope all is well with anyone finding this.

-Cheers

As a writer creating effective, dynamic,characters use to be my strong point, but lately I'm finding I'm having a harder time doing it.

I'm a little bit sadden by this and curious as to why it has happened. Off the top of my head all I can guess is that you start to see people differently as an adult. People seem less dynamic. Adults a predictable, mind controlled and so afraid to deviate from the norm.

During my teen years and early twenty's, particularly my college days, I was able to create amazing and colorful characters. I was surrounding by amazing colorful people. I could take bits and piece of people I knew, stitched it together with some strange ideas of my own and, TA-DAA! Characters I loved were born.

In any case, all is not lost. I still know how to create a good character, even if it doesn't seem to come as natural for me as it did before. Plus I know when something sounds cliché, over done, to out of the realm of possibility. I still have some of my literary "spider senses" at my command. So create a new character I have! Aren't I suppose to be done writing this book already?

The fun part about creating characters now is RESEARCH. I might not have these Dynamic people in my life, but they are out there. News clips, history, television. Yes, Personalities! Historys! They are all out there.

For this new character I've decided to base him loosely on the David Berkowitz--The Son Of Sam--and I've been researching this guy on-line. Okay, scary shit, yah? But this guy is very fascinating and the more I learn about him the more my character comes alive. You have to know what parts you're looking for though and what it is you want to take out of this persons story.

It's not the fact that this guy was a serial killer that has caught my attention. It is the fact that he is now a born-again Christian that I find most fascinating. Dude! If David Berkowitz says there is a God, I'd be inclined to believe him. Lord knows he's sent many a poor soul to go meet him!

But I am totally curious about this guys story now. All the little details I'm trying to find on the net. Like, did the dog actually TALK to him and tell him to kill people or did he just translate the barking in his own head?

What exactly was it in the bible that he read that made him convert? How did it make him feel?

He says he came from a  pretty good home but I found out he was in the military and left only a few years before his first murder. I can't help but wonder if his stint in the military had anything to do with his mental problems afterwards, knowing what we know about PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) it seems possible.

Anyway, I know I'm just being attacked by distraction demons here. I need to get on and get this book completely finished. 35 Chapters complete! It's amazing! But there's no sense in quitting now.




*That pic is not of me, that's the Son Of Sam. I know! He looks like such a nice guy!He has changed though, but even so, It's still spooky...

Ladies and Gentleman, I have found a new hero...LOL



I love this guy for two reasons. 1. He's a hero and 2. He's entertaining as all fuck.  It angers me though when I watch Youtube videos about this guy and all they do is trash him because he's seems gay, he seems uncharacteristically funny about a situation which most of us would find plenty frightening, and because he's from the projects.

Okay, first of all, just because someone talks with an accent doesn't mean they are intellectually inferior. People were acting as if the reporter was throwing him math equations, or he was in the middle of a spelling bee or something. How can you decipher this persons intelligence from that little clip? You can't! That was a trick question. But a ton of people seem to think they can rate peoples IQ by how they speak. So I guess the Japanese and the Chinese of America are dumb as hell because they speak that "Engrish?"? or the Russians and the Germans and The Irish, or the Scotts...who are damn near incomprehendable when they are excited...all fail intellectually because they can't say "Jamie Foxx" without making the nearest American fly into a fit of giggles.

COME ON PEOPLE! Let's evolve a little!

Another thing about this story is that it forces me to reveal a deep dark secret about myself. I LOVE HOW BLACK PEOPLE TALK!!

AHAHAHA! I grew up in very racially diverse communities and if there's one thing I've always been happy about is having black people as friends and family and getting to sit around and just listen to them SPEAK. It sounds like a stereotype but it's true, black people are probably the most entertaining people on earth, and as a writer, I know that you can place a group of black people in any situation in a story...shoveling snow...buying food at the local Pathmart... and if you get the characters right, the conversation right, it will=COMEDY GOLD!

"MARTIN" is one of the best comedies ever! What was it about? what made it so good? Black people talking! 80% of the shows comedy bits comes from conversation alone. And this isn't just a production made up to get views...this is how BLK PEOPLE REALLY TALK!





It's not just black Americans either. The blacks from the West Indies are  really amusing to listen too. It's like the entire language is built on the entertainment factor. If you can s[peak Haitian and listen to two old Haitian men discuss the news you'll know what I mean. FUNNY AS FUCK!

But hands down, the best at speaking black are probably the blacks from the south (the southern part of North America). Sheeeeet! I can listen to them talk all day!

So in closing, i'd like to say that you shouldn't judge people by how they speak and stop trying to shame blacks into giving up something that makes them truly unique and interesting. I love how I talk, I don't want to sound like some stiff unless I am infact at a stiff ass job!

Anyway, if you can't appriciate the ART that is in how black folks talk, I pity you! LOL!

Haha! Kind of a big let down after my last post I know. But I have good reason for hesitating this time...



I took someones wonderful advice and joined a writing group online. HOORAY FOR THE INTERNET!!

Yesterday afternoon I posted the first five pages of my story---which is part of my submission packet BTW---to writingforums.com (my username is Balistic, LOOK ME UP, YO!)

Ahem. Anyway, so for I only got one critique of my work but it was good advice. Also re-reading my own except at like 5 am in the morning (I'm having really horrible sleep patterns lately, I go to sleep anytime, wake up whenever and usually don't end up getting more then 4 hours a sleep a day) I found a ton of mistakes!! Okay, not a ton, but enough to make me glad I didn't send in my submission to agents yet!

The mistakes were little and I know my overall writing is good, but I can't afford any errors. Has to be PERFECT! So for any other writers out their going bitch cakes over their work, I suggest you have it looked at by a critique group, even an online one. Competition is stiff ya'll! Everyone one and their baby mama is trying to be the next "Stephanie Meyer". How good her writing is I'll let the individual decide...but my way of thinking? I can't write a book as good as "Twilight" I have to try to make something better. That's just what it takes to succeed now-a-days because honestly, the publishing hustle has become a dog race. Which is cool with me, I'm ready for battle!




*By the way I didn't draw the picture located on the top. I found it here: http://bloodylilies.livejournal.com/profile




It's gorgeous though, isn't it? People are so talented!

Yeah. Eventually.

Not really. Let's just do it. Let's send out those query letters.

This book we've been working on forever. We've twisted it and changed it and re-arranged it. I'm gonna go glowing BaTShIT!  Seems everyday were getting a new idea for it. Maybe it's time to just send the thing out and hope for the best? If we get rejected then we alter it, but stop altering it before we can even get the queries out.

Yeah sounds good. I'm gonna do it. Really. I'm gonna do it. Okay. I'm doing it. Oh yeah. Seriously. Here i go...

Cheers! Wish me luck!